Hind site is 20/20 and I’m pretty sure I was in denial on
Friday, August 24.
I woke up around 6 a.m. to do a few things and get ready for
work. I had to go into the office for about 2 hours. And honestly, after being
with the girls non-stop for the previous few weeks and their fighting and
arguing, I was looking forward to a little break. Alone time in the car to have
the windows down and the radio up!
Around 8 a.m. I had one contraction.
At 9 a.m. I had one contraction.
At 11 and 11:24 a.m. I had one contraction.
When I got home I was doing some work on the computer and
nonchalantly told Phillip that yes, I had had some contractions.
I went to Target to get some distraction gifts for the girls
not knowing when I would go into labor – I wanted something that could occupy
them while I was laboring if they weren’t into watching, helping, or were being
distracting.
I went to Michael’s to get some plaster strips to re-do my
belly cast that Sophie and I attempted and failed at creating earlier in the
week.
During these errands I had a few more contractions.
I came home, took Sophie to a friend’s house for a
sleepover. By now it’s 4:00 p.m. This pattern of one or two contractions an
hour had continued. But they were still 20-30 minutes apart. In my mind the
contractions could stop at any moment or continue on like this for hours or
days. Now, I should know better. I’m working on getting my certification to be
a childbirth educator and a doula! But I still doubted the process.
Phillip and I had an appointment in town so we dropped Emma
off with Uncle Ken. We went to our appointment, got a bite to eat, stopped by
to see his cousin at the fire station. All the while, still enduring 2-3
contractions an hour. Around 8:30 p.m. I told Phillip we should probably make
our way home.
We made a pit stop at Lowe’s to get an adaptor for the air
compressor to inflate my yoga ball so I could labor on it. I remember clutching
Phillip’s arm during a contraction at 9:11 p.m. on our way into the store and
laughing…saying “most women would go to the hospital at this point, we’re going
to Lowe’s.” I went to the bathroom and
waited for Phillip on the bench near the exit. I must have looked pained
because one of the cashier’s asked me if I was okay. I told her I was ‘just
having contractions’ NBD.
The turning point in realizing this was the real deal was
when I had Phillip stop on the gravel driveway leading to the house. Going over
the bumpy gravel was not pleasant mid-contraction.
We got in the house and told my mother-in-law it was go
time. Now at this point I had NOTHING ready. Bed not properly made, birth pool
not inflated, gifts for the girls not wrapped, tent not up. NOTHING. I simply
had my birth supply box in the corner ready and waiting but that was it.
I called my doula, Jessica, and told her my contractions
were still “sporadic.” I called the midwife to alert her. Knowing she lives
about 45 minutes away I wanted to be sure she had adequate time to get to me.
She informed me that she was at Mission with two laboring first time moms and I
may have to come to her. I was less that pleased. This was not in my birth
plan. This was not what I envisioned. I thought they had back up…I don’t
remember the exact scenario with the backup midwives and their availability.
Michelle the midwife said she would call me back and let me know what to do. I
was a bit panicked and frustrated but we labored on and started preparing our
space. Michelle called me back at 10:59 p.m. to let me know she was able to get
a team together – the midwife and two birth assistants were on the way.
I was excited because the midwife that was going to be at my
birth, Angie, I felt I had the best connection with over the course of my
pregnancy. Secondly, one of the assistants would be Jan, who owns the practice.
Last year at my doula training I jokingly said that I needed
to get pregnant so Jan could deliver my baby. She’s “the midwife” in the
Asheville area. But was sad to learn she doesn’t attend many births anymore.
The other assistant coming to help at the birth isn’t fully trained yet so Jan
was called upon for backup support. Everything has a way of working out!
By this point my doula was here helping me and Phillip was
setting up the birth pool, getting the hoses connected, setting up the tent and
the lights. Due to space issues and not wanting to get water all over the
hardwood floors we decided to have the baby outside. And because it was dark
had to get Christmas light and tiki torches up! It had more of an air of a
party than a laboring woman giving birth and I loved it!
The birth photographer showed up around 11:50 p.m. and the
midwife and assistants arrived at midnight. You can see some of the beautiful images our photographer, Destinee Blau, captured via her Facebook page.
Sophie called earlier in the evening from her sleepover and
wanted to come home. She got home around 10:30 p.m. Emma was in bed asleep.
My contractions were getting stronger and closer together. I
couldn’t get comfortable on the yoga ball or other positions so I just stood
through most of them grabbing the back of the patio chair for focus and
support. Meanwhile Phillip and Jessica were in a flurry of activity. Gathering my forgotten supplies, remaking the
bed using the shower curtain liner as a waterproof barrier on the bed, heating
water on the stove for the pool.
Angie was setting up her tools and supplies. I had her check
me for progress and I was 7-8 cm and 100% effaced. I was eager to get into the
pool. However, there really wasn’t sufficient water in there yet and it was not
warm enough to safely deliver the baby in. I worked through a few more
contractions on the patio. They were tough and strong contractions causing my
legs to tremble. Finally, water level be damned, I had to get into the water.
It covered me enough and was warmish. Luckily, Jessica kept tending to the
stove and bringing more hot water. I’m not sure what time it was when I entered
the pool but I can’t have been in there long.
I had a few more contractions and finally had Phillip at my
side to help me through. The pool I was using for this birth was egg shaped and
narrower than the one I used when I birthed Emma so it was difficult to get my
legs and feet situated in a way that was comfortable. Additionally I kept sliding forward on the
step/seat that was in the pool.
Soon it was time to push. I had a few “practice pushes” and
then became more eager to make the magic happen. I beared down and pushed
causing my bag of waters to explode with force. I swear you could hear the
water break. Sophie actually said the other day that you could hear when I
broke my water! I then pushed one more time with a primal scream and pushed
John out. I had to slow down a bit mid-push to give him more space and to allow
for Angie to unwrap the cord from around his neck. Phillip and Jan grabbed my
legs to allow more space and I finished pushing John out.
Quickly while pushing I asked Carolyn to wake Emma so she
could see her brother being born. Clearly, in denial that I would push him out
so quickly, she barely got outside to see him being born! Emma looked around a
few times, saw her brother, and then announced she was going back to bed!
John Abert Kelly Brown was born at 1:10 a.m. Saturday, July 25. He was wrapped in the tartan scarf that
Phillip wears and has swaddled Sophie and Emma at their births and was wrapped
around the box of ashes from Phillip’s dad at his funeral service.
Sophie was by my side the whole time. She was present as I
delivered the placenta and held John that first night while I was evaluated and
cleaned up. She had a short placenta lesson with the midwife around 2 a.m. at
the kitchen sink. She is like glue to John. I hope their
relationship is always this strong!
It’s bittersweet knowing this was my last pregnancy and
birth. I love the process so much and love watching my body transform and hold
the strength to deliver a baby. There are things that didn’t and will never get
done….like the belly cast I was going to have Phillip help me with that Friday
night!
But John is here and we are grateful. To carry on the Brown
family name. Our baby boy to complete our family.
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