Adventure 7.25 - John's Birth Story

Hind site is 20/20 and I’m pretty sure I was in denial on Friday, August 24.

I woke up around 6 a.m. to do a few things and get ready for work. I had to go into the office for about 2 hours. And honestly, after being with the girls non-stop for the previous few weeks and their fighting and arguing, I was looking forward to a little break. Alone time in the car to have the windows down and the radio up!

Around 8 a.m. I had one contraction.

At 9 a.m. I had one contraction.

At 11 and 11:24 a.m. I had one contraction.

When I got home I was doing some work on the computer and nonchalantly told Phillip that yes, I had had some contractions.

I went to Target to get some distraction gifts for the girls not knowing when I would go into labor – I wanted something that could occupy them while I was laboring if they weren’t into watching, helping, or were being distracting.

I went to Michael’s to get some plaster strips to re-do my belly cast that Sophie and I attempted and failed at creating earlier in the week.

During these errands I had a few more contractions.

I came home, took Sophie to a friend’s house for a sleepover. By now it’s 4:00 p.m. This pattern of one or two contractions an hour had continued. But they were still 20-30 minutes apart. In my mind the contractions could stop at any moment or continue on like this for hours or days. Now, I should know better. I’m working on getting my certification to be a childbirth educator and a doula! But I still doubted the process.

Phillip and I had an appointment in town so we dropped Emma off with Uncle Ken. We went to our appointment, got a bite to eat, stopped by to see his cousin at the fire station. All the while, still enduring 2-3 contractions an hour. Around 8:30 p.m. I told Phillip we should probably make our way home.

We made a pit stop at Lowe’s to get an adaptor for the air compressor to inflate my yoga ball so I could labor on it. I remember clutching Phillip’s arm during a contraction at 9:11 p.m. on our way into the store and laughing…saying “most women would go to the hospital at this point, we’re going to Lowe’s.”  I went to the bathroom and waited for Phillip on the bench near the exit. I must have looked pained because one of the cashier’s asked me if I was okay. I told her I was ‘just having contractions’ NBD.

The turning point in realizing this was the real deal was when I had Phillip stop on the gravel driveway leading to the house. Going over the bumpy gravel was not pleasant mid-contraction.

We got in the house and told my mother-in-law it was go time. Now at this point I had NOTHING ready. Bed not properly made, birth pool not inflated, gifts for the girls not wrapped, tent not up. NOTHING. I simply had my birth supply box in the corner ready and waiting but that was it.

I called my doula, Jessica, and told her my contractions were still “sporadic.” I called the midwife to alert her. Knowing she lives about 45 minutes away I wanted to be sure she had adequate time to get to me. She informed me that she was at Mission with two laboring first time moms and I may have to come to her. I was less that pleased. This was not in my birth plan. This was not what I envisioned. I thought they had back up…I don’t remember the exact scenario with the backup midwives and their availability. Michelle the midwife said she would call me back and let me know what to do. I was a bit panicked and frustrated but we labored on and started preparing our space. Michelle called me back at 10:59 p.m. to let me know she was able to get a team together – the midwife and two birth assistants were on the way.

I was excited because the midwife that was going to be at my birth, Angie, I felt I had the best connection with over the course of my pregnancy. Secondly, one of the assistants would be Jan, who owns the practice.

Last year at my doula training I jokingly said that I needed to get pregnant so Jan could deliver my baby. She’s “the midwife” in the Asheville area. But was sad to learn she doesn’t attend many births anymore. The other assistant coming to help at the birth isn’t fully trained yet so Jan was called upon for backup support. Everything has a way of working out!

By this point my doula was here helping me and Phillip was setting up the birth pool, getting the hoses connected, setting up the tent and the lights. Due to space issues and not wanting to get water all over the hardwood floors we decided to have the baby outside. And because it was dark had to get Christmas light and tiki torches up! It had more of an air of a party than a laboring woman giving birth and I loved it!

The birth photographer showed up around 11:50 p.m. and the midwife and assistants arrived at midnight. You can see some of the beautiful images our photographer, Destinee Blau, captured via her Facebook page.

Sophie called earlier in the evening from her sleepover and wanted to come home. She got home around 10:30 p.m. Emma was in bed asleep.

My contractions were getting stronger and closer together. I couldn’t get comfortable on the yoga ball or other positions so I just stood through most of them grabbing the back of the patio chair for focus and support. Meanwhile Phillip and Jessica were in a flurry of activity.  Gathering my forgotten supplies, remaking the bed using the shower curtain liner as a waterproof barrier on the bed, heating water on the stove for the pool.

Angie was setting up her tools and supplies. I had her check me for progress and I was 7-8 cm and 100% effaced. I was eager to get into the pool. However, there really wasn’t sufficient water in there yet and it was not warm enough to safely deliver the baby in. I worked through a few more contractions on the patio. They were tough and strong contractions causing my legs to tremble. Finally, water level be damned, I had to get into the water. It covered me enough and was warmish. Luckily, Jessica kept tending to the stove and bringing more hot water. I’m not sure what time it was when I entered the pool but I can’t have been in there long.

I had a few more contractions and finally had Phillip at my side to help me through. The pool I was using for this birth was egg shaped and narrower than the one I used when I birthed Emma so it was difficult to get my legs and feet situated in a way that was comfortable.  Additionally I kept sliding forward on the step/seat that was in the pool.

Soon it was time to push. I had a few “practice pushes” and then became more eager to make the magic happen. I beared down and pushed causing my bag of waters to explode with force. I swear you could hear the water break. Sophie actually said the other day that you could hear when I broke my water! I then pushed one more time with a primal scream and pushed John out. I had to slow down a bit mid-push to give him more space and to allow for Angie to unwrap the cord from around his neck. Phillip and Jan grabbed my legs to allow more space and I finished pushing John out. 

Quickly while pushing I asked Carolyn to wake Emma so she could see her brother being born. Clearly, in denial that I would push him out so quickly, she barely got outside to see him being born! Emma looked around a few times, saw her brother, and then announced she was going back to bed!

John Abert Kelly Brown was born at 1:10 a.m. Saturday, July 25.  He was wrapped in the tartan scarf that Phillip wears and has swaddled Sophie and Emma at their births and was wrapped around the box of ashes from Phillip’s dad at his funeral service.

Sophie was by my side the whole time. She was present as I delivered the placenta and held John that first night while I was evaluated and cleaned up. She had a short placenta lesson with the midwife around 2 a.m. at the kitchen sink. She is like glue to John. I hope their relationship is always this strong!

It’s bittersweet knowing this was my last pregnancy and birth. I love the process so much and love watching my body transform and hold the strength to deliver a baby. There are things that didn’t and will never get done….like the belly cast I was going to have Phillip help me with that Friday night!

But John is here and we are grateful. To carry on the Brown family name. Our baby boy to complete our family.

Farm update

Weather, poor planting signs, and a hectic schedule have kept us from planting. But hopefully this weekend we will be hard at work. 

Phillip planted onions early in the year or late last year and they are doing beautifully. It's nothing for him and the girls to yank one out if the ground, peel back the dirty layers, and chomp. I prefer my onions sliced and used in a dish...not raw. But to each his own!

One thing I didn't quite expect was how beautiful they are when they flower. We need to trim the flowering heads off so they will continue to grow bit before that I snapped a few photos. They remind me of birth. The flower pods tucked into the thin paper shell like a baby in the amniotic sac. And they delicately, beautifully, they break through and blossom. 

Adventure #37210 - Nashville

Oh Nashville! You are a cool city.

For three days I have been attending the Emma Marketing United Conference in Nashville. A little disappointed that Phillip wasn't able to join me but not overlooking the fact that I get to have some much needed/deserved time alone. No real routine, other than shower, coffee, get to conference.

This conference is one of the best I've attended. Emma HQ is an amazing/inspiring space. They have played host to an amazing line-up of speakers, and the attendees have had a great vibe, frenzied energy, and because we are marketers and communicators - mostly all extroverted. So meeting new people hasn't been very difficult.

And although we are probably some of the most connected people some great conversations have happened when the devices were out of my hands and getting recharged. That very thing happened yesterday - I sat down, a young women sat next to me and we asked the obligatory "where are you from? what do you do?" She said she was a writer, works for the Austin Farmers, market. I shared what I do and I think she then asked when I was due, eyeing my very visible baby bump. Turns out she and her wife are trying to get pregnant, her brother lives in Asheville, and a good friend of hers is interested in writing birth materials. So needless to say - we hit it off! She invited me to an an after party at an appliance store where she would be sharing some of her farm goodness and kitchen prowess.

Turns out the woman I was speaking with was Kate Payne author of Hip Girls Guide to Homemaking and The Hip Girls Guide to the Kitchen. I enjoyed a lovely evening with a small group of other women sampling homemade tonics, cheese, jam, and PICKLES. Perfect for a pregnant woman right? Kate shared her pickling knowledge with us and demonstrated how to prep a batch of pickled carrots. I now can't wait to harvest some from our garden this summer.

And all because I was disconnected, used my eyes and voice, to engage with another human being.

Adventure # 443 - Spring Planting Continues

The rain finally stopped and the sun shone a little bit yesterday. We had enough of a break in the weather to get our hands dirt, our shovels out, and our knee pads on to work in the garden and flower beds.

Sophie helped me do some of the weeding and watered after I planted. Emma helped Papa put in some topsoil and compost in the garden boxes and hoe the clumps out - in a pink tutu nonetheless.

Phillip worked on the berry patch today and planted three more apple trees yesterday. Just a few more days until we can plant the rest of the regular crops.

And we have compost to use on the big plots. A year + worth of saving our food scraps has proven to be very worth it! :)

Adventure #2620 - Spring Planting

Per the "rules" in March the weather is unpredictable. Hot, cold, hard frost, springlike, hot, cold....When we would think there would be a break in the weather to get the plots tilled it would end up being too cold or rainy.

Last weekend the weather finally broke. It was a beautiful weekend, clear skies, and in the low 70's. Phillip was so excited to be outside and getting the plots ready! For me the most exciting part...was learning how to drive the tractor! Our neighbor lets us borrow this tractor each year. It makes the work so much easier and quicker so we can get to what really matters - planting and growing! I guess I'm a real farm woman now.

Then that beautiful weather disappeared and left us with a week of rain. It has been a soggy and muddy week and we are expecting more rain today and tomorrow.

We plant by the signs and according to the Farmer's Almanac. They are predicting good planting today and tomorrow (April 18-19) but we need to be cautious of the rain. We may not get a good planting day in until the end of the month or the first of May.

Several folks have asked what we are planting. This year we hope to be able to sell at our local Farmer's Market. On the docket is:

• Corn (feed and sweet)
• Green beans (blue lake and greasy)
• Okra
• Onions
• Carrots
• Radish
• Cucumber
• Garlic
• Spinach
• Collard Greens
• Kale
• Swiss Chard
• Lettuce (multiple varieties)
• Peppers (sweet and hot)
• Tomatoes
• Chicory
• Basil
• Cilantro
• Sage (over wintered and reproducing!)
• Thyme (over wintered and reproducing!)
• Chives
• Parsley
• Lavender
• Watermelon
• Strawberry
• Sunflowers

We definitely have our work cut out for us! But we enjoy being outside and the satisfaction of eating what you grow is second to none!

Boy oh Boy! Adventure # 4

Of course as soon as we announced we were having a baby boy the next logical question is...What are you going to name him?

This is both the easiest and most difficult question.

We've actually had a boy's name picked out since even before Sophie was a glimmer in our eye. I'm sure I even have the piece of paper we wrote down all possible name choices.

Our son will be called John Abert. (A-B-E-R-T). No L. Not aLbert. Abert.

John E. Bishop 1919 - 1991

John Edward Bishop is Phillip's grandfather's name on his mom's side. He was very close to his grandparents and if you have ever met Phillip or sat in one of his classes you know he references his granddad as if you had met the man 100 times.

(Thank goodness Phillip read this and added in the historical details...I would have botched the following for sure.)

John James Abert 1788 - 1863
(We have this original portrait
hanging on our wall.)

Abert goes back to Colonel Jean James Abert, the French aristocrat in charge of the Comte de Rochambeau's topographical, or map-making, operations.  The Comte led the French forces that, aided by Washington's army, defeated the British at Yorktown.  His son, Colonel John James Abert (A Colonel in the American Army) was Phillip's five-greats grandfather. A male in Phillip's family has carried the Abert every generation since. The later Abert was also a mapmaker, founding the Army Topographical Corps and surveying the Oregon cession.  The Abert's Squirrel, FYI, is also named for the second Colonel Abert. The last generation to have the name was Sophia Bache Abert, Phillip's three-greats grandmother, after whom Sophia is named. As an aside, you can link Phillip's family history back to Ben Franklin via Sophia Bache Abert. See page 4 of the above linked document.

The tricky part comes to the second middle name. Yes, second middle name. There are many family names we really like and so the curse of our children is that they all have two middle names. This way we could incorporate the names we really like without having 19 kids.

Namps and I (2/25/1922 - 9/28/2004)

My maternal grandfather, Namps, as we affectionately called him, was Robert Cann Kelly. (If anybody can, Robert Cann!) I would like to use Cann as the middle name because of it's originality. Phillip would like to use Kelly because you traditionally use a grandfather's last name. A wild and crazy idea would be to use both giving us "John Abert Cann Kelly Brown" but that's just a lot to fill out on any sort of paperwork!

Adventure #23 or #46...Gender Prediction

For more than two weeks now we have been eagerly awaiting my second ultrasound. This ultrasound usually allows for the gender of the child I am carrying to be revealed. I have gotten so excited to learn if we are having a boy or girl only to be outsmarted by mother nature.

The appointed with my midwife got cancelled and rescheduled then rescheduled again due to ice. I thought mother nature was going to foil my plans once again last week but I was able to sneak the appointment in between snow storms.

For my first ultrasound I went to an office that offers walk-in appointments but this time around will use a different facility because this ultrasound is a little more advanced. So finally I will go on Monday and we will know if I can reuse the plethora of "girl" clothing or if we need to stock up on some "boy" clothing. (I'll save my boy/girl argument and our over genderizing for a different blog post!)

However, although we will know around 11 AM on Monday we won't really know until later that evening when the girls help us reveal the gender. I will have the ultrasound technician write the gender on a piece of paper, take that to the party store, and have them put the "appropriate" color balloons in a box. The girls will each pull a strip of tape off the box and release the balloons reveling boy or girl.

In the meantime I have done ten different "gender" prediction methods on myself. Out of the ten, five reveal boy and five reveal girl.

Chinese gender predictor chart - this method looks at age of conception and month of conception.
Result: Girl

Breasts blossom (girl) vs. darkening of the areola (boy)
Result:  girl

Morning sickness yes (girl) vs. no (boy)
Result: girl

Dry hands and cold feet?
Result: boy -  I've been cold the entire pregnancy

More headaches than normal?
Result: boy

Clear skin (boy) vs. acne (girl) - it's said a girl will "steal your beauty"
Result: boy

Mayan Calendar - age and year of conception, both even or odd (girl), one even one odd (boy)
Result: boy

Wedding ring on a string - swinging in a circle (girl), swinging in a pendulum motion (boy)
Result: boy

Heart rate - over 140 (girl), under 140 boy
Result: That's my secret....you'll have to wait until Monday to find out!