Adventure 7.25 - John's Birth Story

Hind site is 20/20 and I’m pretty sure I was in denial on Friday, August 24.

I woke up around 6 a.m. to do a few things and get ready for work. I had to go into the office for about 2 hours. And honestly, after being with the girls non-stop for the previous few weeks and their fighting and arguing, I was looking forward to a little break. Alone time in the car to have the windows down and the radio up!

Around 8 a.m. I had one contraction.

At 9 a.m. I had one contraction.

At 11 and 11:24 a.m. I had one contraction.

When I got home I was doing some work on the computer and nonchalantly told Phillip that yes, I had had some contractions.

I went to Target to get some distraction gifts for the girls not knowing when I would go into labor – I wanted something that could occupy them while I was laboring if they weren’t into watching, helping, or were being distracting.

I went to Michael’s to get some plaster strips to re-do my belly cast that Sophie and I attempted and failed at creating earlier in the week.

During these errands I had a few more contractions.

I came home, took Sophie to a friend’s house for a sleepover. By now it’s 4:00 p.m. This pattern of one or two contractions an hour had continued. But they were still 20-30 minutes apart. In my mind the contractions could stop at any moment or continue on like this for hours or days. Now, I should know better. I’m working on getting my certification to be a childbirth educator and a doula! But I still doubted the process.

Phillip and I had an appointment in town so we dropped Emma off with Uncle Ken. We went to our appointment, got a bite to eat, stopped by to see his cousin at the fire station. All the while, still enduring 2-3 contractions an hour. Around 8:30 p.m. I told Phillip we should probably make our way home.

We made a pit stop at Lowe’s to get an adaptor for the air compressor to inflate my yoga ball so I could labor on it. I remember clutching Phillip’s arm during a contraction at 9:11 p.m. on our way into the store and laughing…saying “most women would go to the hospital at this point, we’re going to Lowe’s.”  I went to the bathroom and waited for Phillip on the bench near the exit. I must have looked pained because one of the cashier’s asked me if I was okay. I told her I was ‘just having contractions’ NBD.

The turning point in realizing this was the real deal was when I had Phillip stop on the gravel driveway leading to the house. Going over the bumpy gravel was not pleasant mid-contraction.

We got in the house and told my mother-in-law it was go time. Now at this point I had NOTHING ready. Bed not properly made, birth pool not inflated, gifts for the girls not wrapped, tent not up. NOTHING. I simply had my birth supply box in the corner ready and waiting but that was it.

I called my doula, Jessica, and told her my contractions were still “sporadic.” I called the midwife to alert her. Knowing she lives about 45 minutes away I wanted to be sure she had adequate time to get to me. She informed me that she was at Mission with two laboring first time moms and I may have to come to her. I was less that pleased. This was not in my birth plan. This was not what I envisioned. I thought they had back up…I don’t remember the exact scenario with the backup midwives and their availability. Michelle the midwife said she would call me back and let me know what to do. I was a bit panicked and frustrated but we labored on and started preparing our space. Michelle called me back at 10:59 p.m. to let me know she was able to get a team together – the midwife and two birth assistants were on the way.

I was excited because the midwife that was going to be at my birth, Angie, I felt I had the best connection with over the course of my pregnancy. Secondly, one of the assistants would be Jan, who owns the practice.

Last year at my doula training I jokingly said that I needed to get pregnant so Jan could deliver my baby. She’s “the midwife” in the Asheville area. But was sad to learn she doesn’t attend many births anymore. The other assistant coming to help at the birth isn’t fully trained yet so Jan was called upon for backup support. Everything has a way of working out!

By this point my doula was here helping me and Phillip was setting up the birth pool, getting the hoses connected, setting up the tent and the lights. Due to space issues and not wanting to get water all over the hardwood floors we decided to have the baby outside. And because it was dark had to get Christmas light and tiki torches up! It had more of an air of a party than a laboring woman giving birth and I loved it!

The birth photographer showed up around 11:50 p.m. and the midwife and assistants arrived at midnight. You can see some of the beautiful images our photographer, Destinee Blau, captured via her Facebook page.

Sophie called earlier in the evening from her sleepover and wanted to come home. She got home around 10:30 p.m. Emma was in bed asleep.

My contractions were getting stronger and closer together. I couldn’t get comfortable on the yoga ball or other positions so I just stood through most of them grabbing the back of the patio chair for focus and support. Meanwhile Phillip and Jessica were in a flurry of activity.  Gathering my forgotten supplies, remaking the bed using the shower curtain liner as a waterproof barrier on the bed, heating water on the stove for the pool.

Angie was setting up her tools and supplies. I had her check me for progress and I was 7-8 cm and 100% effaced. I was eager to get into the pool. However, there really wasn’t sufficient water in there yet and it was not warm enough to safely deliver the baby in. I worked through a few more contractions on the patio. They were tough and strong contractions causing my legs to tremble. Finally, water level be damned, I had to get into the water. It covered me enough and was warmish. Luckily, Jessica kept tending to the stove and bringing more hot water. I’m not sure what time it was when I entered the pool but I can’t have been in there long.

I had a few more contractions and finally had Phillip at my side to help me through. The pool I was using for this birth was egg shaped and narrower than the one I used when I birthed Emma so it was difficult to get my legs and feet situated in a way that was comfortable.  Additionally I kept sliding forward on the step/seat that was in the pool.

Soon it was time to push. I had a few “practice pushes” and then became more eager to make the magic happen. I beared down and pushed causing my bag of waters to explode with force. I swear you could hear the water break. Sophie actually said the other day that you could hear when I broke my water! I then pushed one more time with a primal scream and pushed John out. I had to slow down a bit mid-push to give him more space and to allow for Angie to unwrap the cord from around his neck. Phillip and Jan grabbed my legs to allow more space and I finished pushing John out. 

Quickly while pushing I asked Carolyn to wake Emma so she could see her brother being born. Clearly, in denial that I would push him out so quickly, she barely got outside to see him being born! Emma looked around a few times, saw her brother, and then announced she was going back to bed!

John Abert Kelly Brown was born at 1:10 a.m. Saturday, July 25.  He was wrapped in the tartan scarf that Phillip wears and has swaddled Sophie and Emma at their births and was wrapped around the box of ashes from Phillip’s dad at his funeral service.

Sophie was by my side the whole time. She was present as I delivered the placenta and held John that first night while I was evaluated and cleaned up. She had a short placenta lesson with the midwife around 2 a.m. at the kitchen sink. She is like glue to John. I hope their relationship is always this strong!

It’s bittersweet knowing this was my last pregnancy and birth. I love the process so much and love watching my body transform and hold the strength to deliver a baby. There are things that didn’t and will never get done….like the belly cast I was going to have Phillip help me with that Friday night!

But John is here and we are grateful. To carry on the Brown family name. Our baby boy to complete our family.

Boy oh Boy! Adventure # 4

Of course as soon as we announced we were having a baby boy the next logical question is...What are you going to name him?

This is both the easiest and most difficult question.

We've actually had a boy's name picked out since even before Sophie was a glimmer in our eye. I'm sure I even have the piece of paper we wrote down all possible name choices.

Our son will be called John Abert. (A-B-E-R-T). No L. Not aLbert. Abert.

John E. Bishop 1919 - 1991

John Edward Bishop is Phillip's grandfather's name on his mom's side. He was very close to his grandparents and if you have ever met Phillip or sat in one of his classes you know he references his granddad as if you had met the man 100 times.

(Thank goodness Phillip read this and added in the historical details...I would have botched the following for sure.)

John James Abert 1788 - 1863
(We have this original portrait
hanging on our wall.)

Abert goes back to Colonel Jean James Abert, the French aristocrat in charge of the Comte de Rochambeau's topographical, or map-making, operations.  The Comte led the French forces that, aided by Washington's army, defeated the British at Yorktown.  His son, Colonel John James Abert (A Colonel in the American Army) was Phillip's five-greats grandfather. A male in Phillip's family has carried the Abert every generation since. The later Abert was also a mapmaker, founding the Army Topographical Corps and surveying the Oregon cession.  The Abert's Squirrel, FYI, is also named for the second Colonel Abert. The last generation to have the name was Sophia Bache Abert, Phillip's three-greats grandmother, after whom Sophia is named. As an aside, you can link Phillip's family history back to Ben Franklin via Sophia Bache Abert. See page 4 of the above linked document.

The tricky part comes to the second middle name. Yes, second middle name. There are many family names we really like and so the curse of our children is that they all have two middle names. This way we could incorporate the names we really like without having 19 kids.

Namps and I (2/25/1922 - 9/28/2004)

My maternal grandfather, Namps, as we affectionately called him, was Robert Cann Kelly. (If anybody can, Robert Cann!) I would like to use Cann as the middle name because of it's originality. Phillip would like to use Kelly because you traditionally use a grandfather's last name. A wild and crazy idea would be to use both giving us "John Abert Cann Kelly Brown" but that's just a lot to fill out on any sort of paperwork!

Adventure #23 or #46...Gender Prediction

For more than two weeks now we have been eagerly awaiting my second ultrasound. This ultrasound usually allows for the gender of the child I am carrying to be revealed. I have gotten so excited to learn if we are having a boy or girl only to be outsmarted by mother nature.

The appointed with my midwife got cancelled and rescheduled then rescheduled again due to ice. I thought mother nature was going to foil my plans once again last week but I was able to sneak the appointment in between snow storms.

For my first ultrasound I went to an office that offers walk-in appointments but this time around will use a different facility because this ultrasound is a little more advanced. So finally I will go on Monday and we will know if I can reuse the plethora of "girl" clothing or if we need to stock up on some "boy" clothing. (I'll save my boy/girl argument and our over genderizing for a different blog post!)

However, although we will know around 11 AM on Monday we won't really know until later that evening when the girls help us reveal the gender. I will have the ultrasound technician write the gender on a piece of paper, take that to the party store, and have them put the "appropriate" color balloons in a box. The girls will each pull a strip of tape off the box and release the balloons reveling boy or girl.

In the meantime I have done ten different "gender" prediction methods on myself. Out of the ten, five reveal boy and five reveal girl.

Chinese gender predictor chart - this method looks at age of conception and month of conception.
Result: Girl

Breasts blossom (girl) vs. darkening of the areola (boy)
Result:  girl

Morning sickness yes (girl) vs. no (boy)
Result: girl

Dry hands and cold feet?
Result: boy -  I've been cold the entire pregnancy

More headaches than normal?
Result: boy

Clear skin (boy) vs. acne (girl) - it's said a girl will "steal your beauty"
Result: boy

Mayan Calendar - age and year of conception, both even or odd (girl), one even one odd (boy)
Result: boy

Wedding ring on a string - swinging in a circle (girl), swinging in a pendulum motion (boy)
Result: boy

Heart rate - over 140 (girl), under 140 boy
Result: That's my secret....you'll have to wait until Monday to find out!

Third Time's A Charm?

Adventure #3?
So yeah...about that third kid thing.

Just ask my husband. There generally isn't a day that goes by that I don't/didn't ask him if we could have another baby. If you know me at all or stumbled across my previous blog you know I pretty much love all things birth and baby. That includes being pregnant myself and giving birth. Yes, I even love the process of giving birth. The guts and the glory.

But due to the move, and finances, and well, all the reasons you ever say "now is not the right time" the answer was always, sorta, a "not right now." So I stopped asking. I think it was wearing him out and I had finally come to terms with the fact that we might never have a third baby. Or, in my mind, I'd just wait until I was 42. I had visions of being more financially stable, a house built, both of us settled in our careers, his NC State Teacher Certification in hand, etc. 42 felt, in some regards, the right time. My mom had my sister at 40. I would be the crazy lady pregnant with #3 at 42. We would have a "separate" family with the third baby. (According to Dr. Kevin Leman in his book The Birth Order Book when you have a span of more that 5 years between children, you basically have a separate family. That child or children are raised differently (for a variety of factors) than the previous kids more closely spaced.)

Well then I trusted my body to science. I mean an app. And magic happened. And I ran the Las Vegas Marathon, and TA-DA! Surprise!

So here I am. 37. "Advanced Maternal Age." Pregnant with #3. First trimester I had a little bit of morning sickness and nausea. I've been freezing cold since I discovered I was pregnant. And tired. Not surprising, but tired. I didn't have morning sickness with the girls. And I wasn't cold with them either. Curious to find out if maybe I'm carrying a boy. A few more weeks and we'll know.


This pregnancy I'm trying to fit in all the things I've read and learned about - birth dancing, Sacred Pregnancy classes, hiring a doula, hiring a birth photographer. Trying to squeeze in all the pregnancy goodness that I can. Live every moment of this pregnancy. Of my last pregnancy.

I'm using the midwives in town and planning another home water birth. The only thing that has really thrown me for a loop is having a summer baby. I will be VERY pregnant this summer - but luckily it doesn't get to terribly hot and humid here. I had two spring girl babies before this making the clothing needs a breeze. Wonder what I'll be able to reuse. Then I realized I'll have a summer birthday baby - bringing a whole different dynamic to the school birthday celebrations.

I am looking forward to completing my family. I've always imagined Emma as the middle child and so far she is very excited about her role as both a middle and big sister.

So here we go again! Another joyful journey through motherhood!